What is Imago Relationship Therapy?

What is the difference between Imago Relationship Therapy and Traditional Marriage Counselling?
Articles

Jeanette Dreyer

Jeanette Dreyer is a very experienced & Certified Imago Relationship Therapist who achieves excellent results.

M.Ed. (Psyc) Pretoria, B.Ed. (Psyc) Pretoria, B.A. (Unisa), D.S.O.R.O. (Unisa), H.P.O.D. (Wellington), Medical Hypno-Analysis (S.A.S.C.H.), E.M.D.R. (Education Unlimited), Certified Imago Therapist, (Imago Relationships International), Sandplay Therapist (Martin Kalf), BrainWorking Recursive Therapy® (Essex Institute)

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Office Telephone

+27 12 667 6188

Office Mobile

+27 83 301 8000

Fax

+27 86 691 5032

Address

120 Zambezi Avenue, Doringkloof, Centurion

Postal Address

PO Box 16573 Lyttleton, 0140

What is Imago Relationship Therapy?

What is the difference between Imago Relationship Therapy and Traditional Marriage Counselling?

What is the difference between Imago Relationship Therapy and Traditional Marriage Counselling?

Couples experiencing relationship problems often have a breakdown in communication and lose their connection as a result. Restoring communication and connection is the basis of restoring the relationship. This forms the essence of Imago relationship therapy.

In traditional marriage counselling, the therapist is typically the core of the healing process. The couple talks to the therapist about their frustrations and the therapist then gives advice on how to solve the couple’s problems.

This system is not always effective because the couple connects with the therapist, not with each other. All too often, the couple remains disconnected as they find it a challenge to implement the advice that is given.

The Heart of Imago

The core practice of Imago Relationship Therapy is the “Couple’s Dialogue”, in which the couple engages in a structured conversation facilitated by an Imago Therapist.

This provides a safe structure for communication  and connection between the couple to air their frustrations and voice their requests for change instead of speaking to the counsellor about it.

The dialogue is based on the understanding that each of the partners in a relationship lives in a unique world of their own thoughts, feelings and perceptions, shaped by the conditioning and experiences of their childhood, so they might see the world totally differently.

It’s not about who is right or wrong

In Imago Relationship Therapy, none of the partner’s views of the world is considered wrong. Therapy is not about deciding who is right and who is wrong; rather, it is all about understanding your partner’s world.

In the “Couple’s Dialogue” or “Bridge Dialogue” you  learn to leave your world behind (your perceptions, rationalizations, etc) and cross an imaginary bridge to visit your partner’s world and listen to your partner.

Imago Therapy enables each partner to extend him / herself to understand the experience of the other as different from his or her own.

The counsellor teaches the couple the structure of the dialogue and guides and facilitates them in using it to connect and bring about change.

From the very first session, a couple can expect to experience the healing effect of reconnecting.

Imago Relationship Therapy is effective because the couple quickly become the source of their own healing, not the therapist, who is just a facilitator in the healing process.

The Imago Concept

We are born in a relationship and we will inevitably be wounded during some stage during the early nurturing and socialization stages of development by our primary caretakers, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

Subconsciously we know that we can only be healed in a relationship. Since our parents / guardians are the ones who wounded us, it is only they who can heal us, not literally, but a primary love partner who matches their traits. Thus we have the subconscious compulsion to be in a relationship.

Why are we romantically attracted to a specific person?

During our childhood the composite image of all the positive and negative traits of our primary caretakers form an imprint on our subconscious minds; this becomes our picture or image of what love looks like. This is called the Imago.

When we search for a partner we subconsciously seek someone who matches up with this composite image of our primary caretakers.

This person is called our Imago Match.

When we meet our Imago match, we fall in love, because the subconscious mind recognizes the resemblance with our primary caretakers and rejoices in having found them again with the expectation that this time they will give us everything we did not get in our childhood.

Why do we become so disillusioned in our relationships?

Once the “love drug” of a new relationship wears off, differences become more and more apparent. It feels as if our partner knows what we want, but is withholding it deliberately. As time goes on and it becomes a committed relationship, e g. the couple moves in together, get engaged or get married the power struggle begins.

This makes us angry and for the first time we start noticing our partner’s negative traits. We compound the problem by projecting our own negative traits onto our partner.

More and more couples are realising that they need to be educated in how to create a successful marriage.

Imago Relationship Therapy offers an advanced education on relationships and is an effective therapy to heal broken relationships.

Please be advised:

At Eureka, we have many satisfied clients. However, we cannot guarantee the results in any case. Your results may vary & every situation is different.

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Meet The Team

We, at the Eureka Centre, are an experienced team dedicated to setting you free from the prison of your own negative perceptions.

Book an appointment today for your own personal Eureka Experience.

Debbie Dreyer

"Secretary / receptionist"

Jeanette Dreyer

"Educational Psychologist & Clinical Hypnotherapist"

Thomas FJ Dreyer

"Social Worker & Head of our LifeBoat Division"

Testimonial Disclaimer

Testimonials found on this site are examples of what we have done for other clients, and what some of our clients have said about us.

However, no practice, including ours, can ever guarantee results. Results may vary and every situation is different.

No compensation was provided for these testimonials.

Office Telephone

+27 12 667 6188

Office Mobile

+27 83 301 8000

Fax

+27 86 691 5032

Address

120 Zambezi Avenue, Doringkloof, Centurion

Postal Address

PO Box 16573 Lyttleton, 0140

Testimonials

We at Eureka Centre have many satisfied clients. Below are some of their inspiring stories:

Positive Changes Daily

Dearest Jeanette, I can only say Thank you very much for the huge part you played in pulling me away from myself and my silly misery and towards my beautiful true self again. I really do notice the positive changes daily and this has been awe inspiring.

I can’t say I’m 100% fixed up yet- I know that will take some time as I digest what we discussed in our sessions – but I am definitely feeling more like my good old self again and this feeling in me improves daily. I am incredibly grateful every morning, when I wake up, at the prospect of a new day not ruled by negative internal dialogue and fear. It has been years since I have felt this sort of freedom from worry and I must admit that I am still getting used to this wonderful feeling.

Thank you for everything you did to help me find some love and respect for myself again. Every single day I discover a little more! I can’t think now how exactly you did it, but you managed to bring me back from the dead and put an energetic skip in my new step. I guess that’s the Eureka Experience for you? Thank you so much for mine.

I know that the work will be tough and the road might be hard. But, at least I’m on my way again. And I am excited again about my future.

– Eureka Centre Client

Helping me to (re)discover myself

Jeanette, thank you for helping me to (re)discover myself. Thank you for providing me with the tools (including recommended book titles) to use as I venture through my future life. You are amazing and have a wonderful talent which enriches those peoples’ lives who seek to discover themselves.

– Eureka Centre Client

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